Our Gay Pride Festivus Poles are on the tip of the spear (see how I worked that in), like a pawn in the game of chess, we send out these worthy warriors to remind EVERYONE that we have liberty for all. And like Baby Jesus Made In China, we abandon them to the elements.
These poles are performance art, and we’re ELITE TROLLS.
We want the pole to be touched, danced around, fondled, oogled, and yes, we want our pole to be mugged. After all, what is a more awesome way to air your grievance than to kick the crap out of our pole?
After all, I’ve wanted to do that to a manger for years.
In Deerfield Beach, home to the Original Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, the team that installed the Jewish Symbol Proclaiming 8 Days Left of Battery Life took umbrage to our pole, and showed their dissent by laying waste to our pole.
Bravo Good People. Bravo. Now you get it.