Dania Beach is reviewing my Satanic Invocation request

Staff Projects, Satan or Silence 0 Comments

Last week, I sent a request into the City of Dania Beach asking to be inserted into the Invocation rotation.

Well, after several snarky followup emails, the City Clerk of Dania Beach (Broomhilda) emails, “The City Attorney is reviewing your request and will respond to you when he completes his review, tentatively expected within the next ten days.


10 days you say?

Off goes this email to City Manager Tom NotYourBro:

Mr. City Manager;

Question: have you reviewed other requests for invocation?  Is that part of your job — to vet the spirituality of those who wish to BOW YOUR HEADS before the Commission?

By the way, did you see that Christian fellow (on the same team as your two praying commissioners) … did you see where that Christian fellow says his prayers can raise the dead?

Holy crap, that’s some powerful medicine right there!

Now, I am not sure if my solemn and dignified Satanic prayer could be so uplifting (and good for the ratings!), so I’m not going to suggest the dead will start walking after I’m done at the podium.

But damn man, would that NOT be the shit?  Then again, Commissioner Chickee ain’t a spring chicken, so maybe the surprise of Night of the Living Dead wouldn’t come as quite the shocker.

And, speaking of shocker (no, not two in the stink), it’s fair’s fair with the invocation rounds right?  Deacon Al doesn’t get three prayer opportunities for every one of mine right?

I’m pretty excited about this … and I’ll be sure to spread the enthusiasm the next time I Skype with Stan.


Oh, and that first part, about having to review my request, that really wasn’t a joke.  You might think I’m just fucking around, but rest assured, underneath this layer of humor resides my firm belief in equal protection under the law.

Don’t make the mistake, that many others have done before in the past, to assume I’m a clown.

Sure, I’m a court jester, but likely the brightest one you will ever run into.

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