Staff Blog, Festivus, Projects 0 Comments

Here’s a quick primer about us.


Q: When and where did you put up the first Festivus pole?

For about a decade (2000-2010), I petitioned the City of Deerfield Beach, FL to remove holidays displays located on public property. After being ignored, I asked to put up my own display. The City agreed, and in December of 2012, the Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer Can Festivus Pole was born.

Or erected, in our case.

Q: Was that one beer cans?

According to supposed “Seinfeld Festivus Purists” (yes, that is a thing) Festivus Poles are unadorned aluminum. However, according to Dan O’Keefe (the Seinfeld writer who came up with the idea), Festivus is an “open-source” holiday, so anything goes. Also, O’Keefe’s dad, who actually made up the idea back in the 60s, was a long-time drinker of Pabst.

Q: What motivated you to do this?

I am a life-long supporter for the need of separation of Church v. State. If we look at places where there’s not a line between the two, those aren’t beacons of good government, democracy, and freedom. And, these days, we’re usually dropping live ordinance on ‘em.

Q: Why do Christians like Kim Davis get so upset at the idea of gay marriage, when it’s completely legal–shouldn’t they just leave people alone, since we leave them alone?

Bigotry in the name of religious freedom, or in her case, bigotry in the name of religious intolerance is still bigotry. I imagine Davis’ fingertips are colored bright red from her cherry picking the parts of the bible that suit her needs.

Davis and her followers like to repackage hate as freedom and liberty.

Personally I believe love is something to be respected, not diminished.

Q: What do you hold near and dear about the first amendment?

The third part actually … my right to redress my grievances. My job is to stretch the very fabric of the 1st Amendment, testing the limits, so that others who follow behind me have more room to roam.

Q: What would you tell people who are angry at Muslims right now?

I’d ask this simple question. What is the root cause of all of this? It’s religion. All religion is bad, it is a virus on mankind’s future.

But, wait wait wait, the Christians will say, ours is a peaceful religion!

I’d point out Jesus’ supposed own words in Matthew 10:34, “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.”

Q: Shouldn’t they and all people be able to place their own holiday displays, or whatever they want to use?

It’s a binary situation, I opine. All or nothing. If the government allows one, it must allow all, otherwise it would seem to be, the government is choosing one over another, and that’s against the Constitution.

Q: Are you a fellow atheist?

I am a “militant atheist” … it’s my pleasure to mock, ridicule, and scorn anyone who has a belief in an imaginary friend. Suppose your 40 year old cousin still believed in Santa Claus… Would you sit idly by as this individual makes out a list and mails it to the North Pole?

Two simple words can defeat any religion that’s ever existed — “Prove it.”

To those that say prayer is the answer, I suggest you try praying away a raging case of herpes and report back.

Q: To those who try to stop you from displaying a Festivus pole, what would you say to them?

Eat me.

Q: Where do you plan to erect Festivus poles this year?

Our plans include several South Florida cities, Lake County, Florida (where I’m in the process of suing them for denying my petition to perform a Satanic invocation before a County commission meeting), and in DC. Depending on the success of our Indiegogo Generosity Project, we’ll erect poles in California, NYC, and as many points in between.

And, like years past, this is a dynamic, organic situation — I guarantee bat shit crazy stuff will happen in the next 30 days.

Q: How much opposition are you dealing with this year, so far?

None as of yet … the folks at Fox News haven’t really cranked up the War on Christmas bit … but that’s surely right around the corner. Stand by, it will come.

Q: What is MAOS?

My personal blog where I’ve held truth to power … I’ve also photoshopped penis nose sunglasses on those who are deserving of such a reward. Don’t laugh, one particular cretin of a politician, in office forever, quit after getting the dick nose. Seems she didn’t like the attention.

Q: In terms of waste and fraud, what’s been the biggest things you’ve uncovered, and what were the results?

I’ve helped send 3 politicians to jail, one spent a year behind bars. A local pastor nailed for $50,000 — stealing from Uncle Sam (HUD). I’ve helped sway elections, uncovered buckets of waste.

Q: How did you fight this, and what was the outcome?

Lots and lots and lots of research. Literally, thousands of hours devoted to holding those in power accountable for their actions. Little benefit to me (my dog was poisoned, I’ve been shot at, death threats, law suits). But if not MAOS, then who?

I’ve got a nose for a story, the ability to work the media, great sources, and lots of dumb luck. Mostly the later.

Nailing corrupt politicians is an odd hobby, very few citizens bother, so that just emboldens the corrupt. However, every once in a while, here in South Florida, the bad guys run into me … and that’s usually not good news for them.

Q: Second to last question: Who was sent to jail and why?

Deerfield Beach Commissioner Steve Gonot: aka Shitbird. He stole $4500 from his campaign account, nailed his ass, ended up a year behind bars.

Deerfield Beach Commissioner Sylvia Poiter: the Grande Dame of Broward Politics. Four decades in office, always too clever to be caught. I finally nailed her … arrested and removed from office. Found guilty of four misdemeanor counts of corruption.

Deerfield Beach Mayor Al Capellini: aka Fucktard. From the dais, drove business to his company. Arrested, removed from office. Delayed his trial eight years, lied on stand, judge dismissed charges. City hit with $700K legal bill.

Q: Do you set up a fund with IndieGogo or Gofundme, and the link to that.

Yep!  Here’s the Indiegogo and a promo video we shot.

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