The First Pompano Beach Church of Satan has its Atlantic Boulevard address and its Yellow Pages listing.
And now its “leader” wants an audience in front of the City Commission with deacons twerking to the “Thong Song.”
A Yellow Pages listing and a Pompano Beach address were two of the requirements that the commission set last week in an effort to exclude a self-described minion of Satan from leading the invocation that begins its City Commission meetings. That minion, Chaz Stevens, who is also an activist for separating church and state, says he’s going to challenge the legality of that July 14 resolution.
But in the meantime, he’s set about meeting the commission’s requirements for participating in the tradition that usually brings the city’s Christian pastors before the commission.
“Abandon all hope,” reads the Yelp description of the new church. “After all, this is Pompano Beach. For the rest, we offer salvation, ice cold, imported beer, and the occasional stripper named Mercedes.”
Stevens said: “Pompano Beach needed saving, and a good enema… So here we are.”
Mayor Lamar Fisher said that Stevens will be allowed to lead the invocation, if his church meets the city’s requirements. Other parameters in the resolution say the church should fulfill the Internal Revenue Service’s definition of a nonprofit.
“This is the first I’ve heard of this,” Fisher said on news of the Yellow Pages listing and Pompano Beach location of the “church.”
The address, 2637 E. Atlantic Blvd., is also the location of Parcels Plus.
Pompano Beach Commissioner Barry Dockswell, however, said he has been receiving emails from Stevens advising him on the progress of the church’s establishment in the city — and it’s exactly what he was trying to avoid when he proposed replacing the invocation with a moment of silence.
“I just hope the commission realizes that it’s not possible to have the kind of invocation they would like to have while avoiding the kind they would not like to have,” he said. “We would serve our citizens and the community by having a moment of silence rather than an invocation.
“I hope we can avoid being dragged into silliness and unnecessary legal expense,” he added.
So far, the “church” has 19 “friends” and 59 reviews have resulted in a five-star rating on Yelp.