Earlier this week, I requested permission from the City of Lake Worth to offer a Satanic invocation before an upcoming commission meeting.
Looking to get on the Prayer Docket, I sent an email, well two of them, to the City Manager Michael Bornstein:
My name is Chaz Stevens, father of the Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole. In case you’re not familiar with me (I dunno, you live in a cave), here’s a recent story.
I’d like permission to give a Satanic, yes Satan, invocation at an upcoming City Commission meeting. Everyone is welcome to sing along, or as is the recent case when Miami atheist activist Preston Smith gave the invocation , like Elvis, they can leave the building.
After receiving no replies (Jesus H. Christ), I directed my request to City Clerk Pamela Lopez (who’s hubby is a pastor and has given invocations).
With the patience of Allah, the understanding of Horus, the love of (ALL HAIL) Satan, and in the spirit of understanding (and equal protection under Federal law), I’m officially requesting to give the opening invocation at the next available Commission meeting.
Rest assured, no chickens or animal sacrifices will be involved in this invocation. However, I’m doing my best to lay in a mariachi band.
Kindly let me know what date works for you.
In an email dated yesterday, I received this reply:
I am in receipt of your email request to do the invocation at a public Commission meeting and wanted you to know that invocations are scheduled months in advance of meetings. I will have to get back with you on which dates are available. Since this would be your first time providing an invocation, I just wanted to let you know that invocations provided are brief and lasting no more than one minute. Our meetings begin promptly at 6 PM in City Hall.
Looks like Satan’s a go in Lake Worth!