To: Ric Green, President
Pompano Beach Chamber of Commerce
Not sure if you’ve heard the news, but the City of Pompano Beach passed a resolution whereas individuals wishing to perform the opening Commission invocation are put to the front of the line if they are a member of your organization.
What in the actual pixelated fuck is that all about?
Seems the Chamber’s new 2015 role is to give Godly references for its members … sure the Pope might be god’s right hand man … but hell, you’re the afterlife’s LinkedIn source.
Do you also do Google Reviews?
With all this silliness in mind, I’d interested in obtaining a membership to the Pompano Beach Chamber of Commerce. However, before I sign on the dotted line, I have a few questions:
- Are there any other Churches of Satan within your ranks?
- Do you need spiritual proof? I mean after all the City wants you to help vet us … what will aid in your research? We’re willing to barf up pea soup on demand.
- Most importantly, prior to this Resolution, has the Pompano Beach Chamber of Commerce ever helped the City in determining who is allowed to pray?
Hail Satan and pass the altar boy!
Oh wait, that’s the Catholics.